Therapy

Growing up with a mother who has more problems then Britney Spears herself, I've sat in my fair share of therapist offices. I've even seen a couple who at the same time have seen my mother. Let me tell you, therapists and I do not get along. Anyone who carries that title better run far, far away from me because for some reason I tend to be very mean to them.
My last horror story of a therapist was this woman, who wore the same fuckin' shoes every single time I saw her. Maybe it was so she could make me feel like she was a steady person, that I could always count on her to be available and never-changing. But I'm a fashion snob, and when I am going to see a therapist and she is wearing the same pair of shoes..I would like to know where the money my insurance is giving her is going too. Did she just smoke some crack before I got here? (and let me tell you, I would not be surprised).
Anyway...the shoes weren't even shoes you could get away wearing with everything. They were these cork, wedge heels but the cork looked like something you find off a fuckin' bulletin board slapped on the bottom of a pair of...get this...METALLIC silver wedges. Terrible, just terrible. Not only was she "never-changing", she was a fucking bitch. I HATE IT when therapists just sit and let me talk and don't say anything, because then I just start to make shit up so I can throw them for a loop. "I don't ever want to speak to my grandmother again" ......silence ensues......"because when someone was going to mug us, she ran away and let me get mugged because she was "carrying Chanel" as she explained to me". Obviously not the real story, but come on woman..talk to me! I can do your job and I promise I'd be able to afford more then one pair of shoes, maybe even jimmy choo's honey.
So when my mom made an appointment for me to see another therapist, I was less than thrilled. I judge people by the way they look, and although the office was nice..if some busted-ass looking woman came out with metallic shoes I'd run the other direction. Thankfully for me, this woman had on a fairly cute outfit. I mean...nothing that I would wear, but it was definitely a step up from Dr.Metallic Bitch I encountered before her. She looked very nautical, and since I love the sea I knew it'd be love. And....SHE ACTUALLY TALKED...oh man, finally, a therapist that speaks! For a minute there I thought they were all mute!
I have an appointment with her next week....lets see how this goes.
Until then....<3 Theresa